Valentine’s Day Is For All the Single Ladies

Scan of a Valentine greeting card dated 1909.
Scan of a Valentine greeting card dated 1909. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Valentine’s Day is designed for all the single ladies out there — the ones who aren’t married or are newlyweds. And I’m so thankful to be considered an older married couple.

The pressure of Valentine’s Day is to prove your love or at least do a grand display of it. If you’re dating someone, that person is under serious pressure to create a magical day, all in the name of St. Valentine. Whether it be flowers, a fancy dinner  or a personal poem declaring undying love, Valentine’s Day is the day to do it. And what happens if you don’t perform as your partner expects (in and out of the bedroom, that is), be prepared for some serious backlash!

I used to dread Valentine’s Day. As a single girl, I hated the feeling I was supposed to have that special someone in my life to fulfill any achingly lonely space in my heart. Why did I need a guy to complete me? Wasn’t I already enough? Apparently not. As Valentine’s Day has moved into a commercial holiday fraught with emotional expectations, the presumption I would become an old maid if I didn’t have a date lingered over my head.

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Then, if I was dating someone on Valentine’s Day, the horror of not getting the holiday “just right” was enough to send me into a tailspin. What if I was overboard? What if I didn’t do enough for my guy? What if he didn’t meet my expectations? It was enough to make me throw the covers over my head and sleep the day away.

My husband and I have been married for 10 years now. We have two sons. The focus has shifted from lovingly staring into each other’s eyes on this holiday to creating a fun day for our kids where we all get to be our Valentine’s.

Does this mean the romance and love has left the building? Just the opposite. My husband and I remind each other that we love one another all the time. We take time to say how happy we are that we chose each other. So when a holiday comes along dictating that this day should be the most romantic day of the year, it seems silly. The romance of our relationship is woven into our daily interaction. The romance is, while the kids are trashing our house, we can take the other’s hand and say, “There is no one I’d rather be in the foxhole with.” The romance is, while our kids are waging WWIII, we can laugh and find the joy in the day together.

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Romance lives in our house. Just not the puppy dog kind. Instead, it is a mature love that says, I can’t imagine anyone else being my partner. I choose you every day of my life.

Did you miss any of these other Valentine posts?

13 Comments

  1. Hey Jenny, I think you’re right, Valentines Day is for single ladies and newlyweds. Although, my hubby and I still get each other a little ‘reminder’…and we go out for dinner–but we wait for the weekend! LOL

    1. thejennyevolution says:

      I didn’t really realize the shift until this year. We’ve slowly been getting away from the “display” that is expected every year. Instead, I love the random connections and celebrations we do throughout the year. But boy did Valentine’s Day carry a lot of weight when I was single! Oh the pressure!

  2. I didn’t really realize the shift until this year. We’ve slowly been getting away from the “display” that is expected every year. Instead, I love the random connections and celebrations we do throughout the year. But boy did Valentine’s Day carry a lot of weight when I was single! Oh the pressure!

  3. Hallmark better watch out, this seems to be the prevailing sentiment this year. 😉

    Visiting you from the No Rules Weekend Blog Party.

    1. Thanks for letting me know where you’re visiting from 🙂 I absolutely agree that as we get older, Valentine’s Day holds so much less meaning. I think it’s our experience and comfort in ourselves that stops the pressure of Valentine’s Day.

  4. Diane @ Me, Him And The Cats says:

    We go out to eat a few days before or after valentines day to avoid all the hubbub. Everyone at work was getting flowers and was beyond thrilled. I don’t need flowers (that are going to wilt and die) to know he loves me. We have been dating 9 years, living together for about 8. He does little things every day to show his love – I don’t need a big display, I already feel it in my heart : )

    1. I agree. Big displays are for those who are trying to prove their love; not for those who show their love and make that person feel special every day.

  5. My parents, who have been married for almost 45 years, call Valentine’s Day “amateur night.”

    1. LOL. I LOVE that… it definitely is amateur hour. And before I found my husband, boy did I hate Valentine’s Day. Nothing like a day where you’re forced to declare affection, even when you don’t want to. One Valentine’s Day I went to go see Wayne’s World — that was about all I wanted to do THAT holiday.

  6. We’re not real big on holidays and especially not ones where it’s dictated what to do and how to do it. Although we don’t really ‘celebrate’ Valentine’s Day, we acknowledge it’s presence and continue about our lives together.

    We may not have been together for umpteen years yet, but our nearly 3 really mean something to us. We have that mature, I can’t imagine my life without you by my side kind of love, too. 🙂

    1. I’m the same way with New Year’s Eve. Any holiday that tells me I have to party isn’t really a holiday for me.

  7. Love it!! After you’ve been married for awhile, it’s a bit different, huh? I just use it as an excuse to not have to cook! 🙂 ha/ha

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