Before I became a parent, I certainly uttered some ridiculously famous last words… I mean real doozies!
Before a person has children, it’s easy to pass judgement.
And then you have them.
It slowly dawns on you that you had absolutely no idea what it meant to be a parent and raise a child.
Rather than feeling foolish for all of those bold statements I made about parenthood before joining the club, I’m embracing my naivety and sharing them with you.
10 Things I Foolishly Said Before Having Kids (aka Famous Last Words)
1. The kids will never sleep in our bed.
Fat chance.
No matter how determined you are, sleep deprivation is bound to catch up with you.
So when that little wiggle worm crawls into your bed at 2am, you’re not going to have the energy to kick him or her out.
Before you know it, you’re either going to choose sleep or choose trying to get your kiddo out of your bed.
Sleep will win (for a while at least).
Game over.
2. I am not a dog person. (Translated: We will never have a dog.)
I didn’t grow up with a dog. My husband did.
I never had the strong desire to have a dog. My husband did.
Even after our first son was born, I still said I wasn’t going to have a dog.
My husband said let’s talk about it.
We had our second son.
We now have a dog.
Game over.
3. My children will only watch age-appropriate material.
Hard as you may try, things will slip by.
They will get sick, and out of desperation when you hit week 2, you will pull up Ben 10 or some other show you’re not sure about.
His little brother isn’t around so it must be safe to let him watch.
But you forget the older ones knows how to pull up the show in Netflix, and you find the two brothers watching aggressive cartoons early in the morning… without your supervision.
Game over.
4. My child will not be the one having public tantrums.
Wouldn’t it be lovely if you could just tell your child to chill and they would?
But that’s not the way it works.
Kids have tantrums for the most ridiculous things.
Once you become a parent, you recognize that kids have to work these things out sometimes.
The question becomes not if they are going to have a public tantrum at some point but how long you’re going to let them freak out before you walk out of the store.
Of course, if you’re in a restaurant, you should leave immediately (it’s just plain rude, otherwise).
But if you’re on a plane, you’re just going to have to ride it out and manage it as best you can.
Game over.
5. As parents, we make the rules.
In general, this is probably true.
I say probably because I could just be kidding myself.
But the fact is, I do make up most of the rules.
Unless I’m being played by a certain 7-year-old who knows how to negotiate with the master skills of the best litigation lawyer around.
And before we know it, we’ve given in without even realizing that we’re changing our own rules.
Game over.
6. The children will eat fast food only once a week… on Fridays… as a treat.
As your kids get older, this will become more and more difficult.
When they’re toddlers, they don’t know what they’re missing.
Plus, you’re still young and fresh, determined to always serve only healthy meals to help them grow those little bodies.
Then they’re going to start sports.
Your husband will be traveling a lot for work.
Your schedule will no longer be your own.
Dinnertime rolls around and you realize that the only things in the fridge to eat are cheese sticks, pickles and ketchup.
Some days it’s just about survival.
Game over.
7. No toy guns or other play weapons are allowed in the house.
Someone gives your kid a toy gun as a present.
(Click here to read what I think about that.)
While that didn’t stick, my boys discovered Star Wars.
Before I knew it, we have multiple light sabers that light up in the dark and are having sword fights in the back yard at night.
Game over.
8. My kids will never be caught out in public in their pajamas.
Ask me how many times I have taken my kids to Target in their pajamas. Shoot.
One Sunday I was so desperate to get out of the house, the kids even went to the library in their jammies.
Besides having a child with Sensory Processing Disorder who has tactile issues with clothing in general, some days you just don’t have the energy to fight getting them dressed.
So the choice is stay at home, have an all out brawl to get them dressed or just go and get out of the house.
Game over.
9. No child needs Starbucks.
In reality, no child really does need Starbucks.
However, Mommy and Daddy need Starbucks, sometimes.
Which means the kiddos get a small treat once in a while.
Game over.
10 The kids will not spend the weekend watching cartoons and/or playing video games.
There are going to be weekends where you are completely snowed in.
After several months of this, you’re just going to throw up your hands and hand over the remote.
After all, you need some rest, too.
Let them play all the Minecraft they want.
Game over.
WHAT ARE SOME FAMOUS LAST WORDS YOU’VE SAID?
The toy guns got me smiling.
I never bought or allowed that in my house. My ex and her family did. But anyway, I was at a local county fair and My son (he was about 7 at the time)and his friend were playing games in the carny area and when I looked away they had won these inflatable guns in Red, White and Blue. Anyway, (I found this out later) some Australian had taken a pic of it and my son ended up on some newspaper about how Americans and the gun culture.
My kids will not watch junk on TV. Well, that one went out the door when both kids became teen-agers.
LOL. Isn’t that the way, Patrick! You turn your back for a second…..
Thank you! This is my life! I said every one of those things and now I break all these “rules” all the time! I love it when we parents can tell the truth to each other. You don’t know until you know!
🙂
Traci
Absolutely right you don’t know until you know! I just shake my head at some of the things I’ve said!!!
Very nice… I knew the kid in the picture was Braden! He’s an internet star… 🙂
Love this! I’m forwarding to a friend who doesn’t have any yet 😉
Ha! But will she believe these are all true 🙂
Oh you are right on the money! The things I swore *my* kids would/would never do. ha! :p
Yep. And then reality set in! After writing this, my husband and I were laughing about the things we swear we’ll never do when they are older…. guess it’ll be time for a new list then. Ha!
Famous last words huh? A few of the ones you mentioned, especially the toy guns. That quickly went out the window with my ex husband who encouraged it. While my husband and I are still adamantly against it, I can’t enforce that rule in my ex’s house.
Sleeping in my bed? Happened quite a few times, I was just to tired to fight it, and my husband didn’t even notice till he woke up next morning.
That’s funny your husband didn’t even know they were there in the bed! We usually end up with a foot in our face or something so NO ONE sleeps!
OMG I LOOOOVE THIS POST! There are so many things (including some of yours) I said that I’m already regretting. I spoke way too soon! I might have to do one of these lists myself, though I would give full credit to you with a link to your blog as my inspiration. Right now I’m in one of those “my kid will NEVER leashed.” Yeah…totally contemplating leashing my 1 year old. lol
OMG! We totally talked about leashing our first born… he was a runner (meaning he would run off ALL the time). It was exhausting but I just couldn’t do it. Part of me think I would have been more sane during some of those years if I had just done it…. like in the airport…. 😀
I don’t know if I could actually go through with leashing mine…much like you, there’s a deep part of me that still says “OH COME ON, TAKE CONTROL!” But I know better than to rule it out now lol
This is a great list. I love the one about the dogs, I too wasn’t a huge fan of dogs. Guess what I have three dogs in my house. I love lap dogs.
Three dogs?!? Wow, you really took the plunge! We have one Boston Terrier who is just small enough to curl up with us on the couch but big enough to take on my boys (and she gives them a run for their money, trust me.)
What a wonderful post! It’s sooo different once you have kids. I try to limit tv, sweets, toy guns and all things bad but let’s be serious it’s so hard!! And don’t even get me started on public tantrums! I have a 34 month old and a 16 month old, tantrums are a everyday occurance!!
I’ve had to abandon more than one shopping cart at Target because of tantrums. 🙂
Lol!! Yup, Winx Club on Netflix at 5 am…check. Four people in bed…check. Still no dog but watch this space. Oh, and the judgements I passed towards parents with kids who have seperation anxiety
Ooooo. That’s a good one! I didn’t think about the separation anxiety one! Although now that my son is in 1st grade, I have to admit I sometimes think the 1st grade parents just need to push their little birds out of the nest a bit…
I totally agree! Really hope mine will be over it by then.
Oh my God! This is like someone went into my head and stole the list!! Thank you for this post, i relate to this so much. I actually got a dog,a cat, a turtle and a fish at one point!! And ofcourse we went to starbux even if my hubby hates it!
Enjoyed the post very much and will share it 🙂
Ha! Glad you liked it 🙂 You really jumped into the pet wagon… we’ve talked about a second dog. I say no…. but then again you never know!
I’m guilty of many of these. We also have several lightsaber fights in the yard, house, and park lol
And a boy can never have too many lightsabers, right? 😉
The boys often spend the weekend watching TV or playing video games….and it isn’t even snowing over here! 😀
Okay… then I don’t feel so bad! I keep hearing of these families that only allow 1 hour of TV on the weekends, and I keep thinking to myself…. “REALLY?!?”
I love it! I’m 53 and I now have a 2 year old boy. I thought I could do it better this time around and make my rules stick. I’m more of a pushover now than I was 30 years ago. Even at 2 he can manipulate a situation like a good little lawyer in training and he wins the argument before I even know it’s over. My favorite is when friends, remember my age, tell me “just tell him don’t touch it”. Seriously! Gee I never thought of that, LOL. Thanks so much for sharing at Wake Up Wednesday Linky Party.
Angel
Oh my gosh. Doesn’t that drive you insane when people say things like that? Ha! Sometimes I politely nod my head. Other times I’ve told them they can say that to my son and see how it goes. Of course, they lose. They don’t mention it again 🙂
Love this post! My son is 2 and I gave up on “rules” when he was about 6 months old. He was more active at night than during the day and would barely sleep, which meant I had to entertain him all night. When he was 6 months, I let him watch a DVD all night while I slept, and we haven’t changed since. It’s rare that we’re home and Nick Jr isn’t playing. It’s just not worth the fight – he’s the boss! LOL
Thanks so much for sharing on Wake Up Wednesday!
I love the one about public tantrums. So many people judge a parent when they see a child acting up, but they forget that every child has played the fool in public to try and get their way including themselves. Visiting from Wake Up Wednesday Linky.
So true! We’ve also abandoned several shopping carts in Target because of tantrums as well.
We have all past judgement and then we have OUR Kids! Yup my words were different but I have 10 of my own. My kids teach me every day how naive I was! Thanks for Linking at Pintastic Pinteresting Party!
Those 10 sentences are things that my mom and dad always told me. However, we are living in a different time or ages. Those sentences might work for children at the same ages with me or in other words, they only work for the grandparents. I really enjoy this list a lot. Thank you very much for sharing.
Oh my how things change when we have kids. I remember saying a couple of things “my kids will not be walking around sucking on a paci” and “I will not drive around in the car until my kids fall asleep”
And guess what? I caved LOL
Thanks for sharing. I loved it.
Dropping by from the Bloggers Brags Pinterest Party & following you on social media
🙂 Glad you got a kick out of my post. We only had to drive around a couple of times but the swing in our house RULED!
Hahaha.. I certainly have said those things, especially the tv/cartoon one. Now my girl loves watching The Wiggles and I don’t mind it at all. That is the only time I got left to do my own thing!
I know! TV is evil until you haven’t gone to the bathroom by yourself for years because the kids won’t give you a moment 😉
I actually thought I wouldn’t let my kids watch TV, ever! Ha ha! That was a good joke on myself!
LOL! Then reality set in, right? Well, that’s just the way it goes. I’ll bet you’re still a rock star parent.
I found this hilarious!! My son is only 3 months old, and I am already eating my words about things I thought life would be like. Such a relief knowing I’m not the only one who was wrong 🙂
Ha! You’re definitely not the only one! Parenting is humbling for sure 🙂