The One Simple Trick to Instantly Self Calm a Child

Sometimes we wish we had a magic wand as a parent in getting our children to calm down when their emotions run high. This simple trick presented by Mommy Catharsis at Contemplative Chaos will teach your child how to instantly get themselves to self calm in many situations.

This picture look familiar to anyone? It was brand-new to me until last spring when my now four year-old son (Big C) received the diagnosis of ASD and the floodgates opened. Suddenly, I was inundated with cue cards and visuals designed to help us as parents “manage” our son.

I’m learning very quickly that parents have very mixed emotions about this kind of stuff. I’ve read blogs where parents are outraged by concepts like “quiet hands” and see techniques such as ABA therapy akin to torture and brainwashing. (I’ll admit I’ve had my share of bad experiences).

I’m becoming a quick study and am discovering very quickly that I learn best simply by following the cues of my own kid (crazy concept, huh?) ABA wasn’t for us, but man, does he dig the visuals!  My husband and I tried a visual schedule this summer, and it was like a magical talisman. Does it work 100% of the time?  Of course not, but it sure does help.  Just making him aware of what’s coming next alleviates so much stress for him (and his Mommy too!)

An extension of the visual schedule are the use of visual cue cards. His teachers at preschool and daycare use them often, especially during circle time, when he struggles to sit still and focus.

Imagine. A four-year old boy who doesn’t want to sit still.

Body Calm: A Simple Self-Calming Technique for Children

All joking aside, while I’m pleased the visual cards are helping him focus, I’m way more concerned with managing his aggression.  He’s an emotional little guy, and if he’s mad (and tired) enough, he will hit, throw, kick, scream – even bite on the rare occasion.

This is where the “Body Calm” technique has proven effective. Again, for my son.

When he starts to escalate, he’s learning to self-regulate, doing as the picture illustrates and wrapping his arms around his chest and taking deep breaths. Does he usually need prompting? Sure. Does it always work  Heck no.

But I know he’s getting it. Case in point:

Just a few weeks ago, I was all in a huff because my husband (who usually does morning drop-off with the boys) had to go into work early. I was stressing trying to pack lunches, book bags and get my two boys out the door before my own job start time of 7:15 am.

Big C, sensing my distress (he’s highly attune to emotions) very loudly proclaimed to me, “Mommy, you need to get your body calm!”

It totally worked. I busted out laughing, said, “You’re right,” and we did it together.

I’m happy to report I had a calm rest of the day thanks to my little life coach.

Find more insightful tips in my Voices of Special Needs series!

How have your children coached you through life?

About Mommy Catharsis: In the winter of 2014, her three year-old son was diagnosed with autism. Suddenly, she had a lot to blog about. For about a year, she processed her son’s diagnosis through writing, making invaluable connections with other parents with similar struggles, helping her mature into a better, more self-aware mother in the process. You can find her on Contemplative Chaos.

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