Fireworks in Your Mind – A Mom’s Sensory Processing Disorder Poem

Once in a while you come across something that just touches your heart to the core. When I saw fellow sensory mom reading her Sensory Processing Disorder poem on YouTube, I was speechless.

Kerry Horner says so much that we think, that we wonder about our children.

She says so much that we wish we could say.

Kerry has been gracious enough to let me share her poem with you.

Read it, and then listen to her spoken word performance of it. It will move you to tears but in the best of ways.

Today on Voices of SPD, we are joined by Amber of Sensory School about how she got her daughter to embrace her own fear of fireworks…. on her own terms.

Be sure to learn more about Sensory Processing Disorder and my parenting tips on how to support your child with sensory challenges.

Fireworks in Your Mind

by Kerry Horner (A Mother’s Sensory Processing Disorder Poem)

Imagine a day,

Imagine a way,

That you could see the world through my eyes,

And I could see the world through yours.

Imagine a day,

Imagine a way,

When you could feel what it’s like to be me,

And I could feel, what it’s like to be you.

I never realised when I became your mum,

That I would learn so much from you, my son.

Life was meant to be perfect;

life was meant to be fair. But life’s isn’t like that; there’s no fairness there.

If I could swap with you, I would;

Knowing that for once, you could hear silence.

I try to imagine what I would feel,

Inside your mind, if it was real;

But I can’t.

The noise, the lights, the smells, the fear,

Entwined together; and I try to hear What you hear.

But I can’t.

I imagine a world, where lights flicker and blind,

And noises combine as they merge in your mind,

And colours burn so vivid and bright,

That I wonder if it’s possible that they might

Explode.

Yellow, blue, orange and red;

Burning, fizzing,

Inside your head,

Like fireworks.

As the colours, the lights and the sounds juxtapose,

A haze of confusion and anxiety grows;

Accelerating into a crescendo of chaos,

And they crackle as they burn, then finally explode.

Yellow, blue, orange and red;

Burning, fizzing,

Inside your head.

I know that empathy can never reveal,

The extreme emotions that you try to conceal;

But I know it’s impossible to hide it away,

When the fizzing and burning is there every day.

And nobody seems to understand why

You do what you do as your mind starts to fly.

When other children manage to sit still in their seat,

But for you, with the fireworks, it’s a more challenging feat.

When they only hear the words spoken aloud,

But for you that one voice is lost in a crowd

Of noises and lights and colours they can’t feel,

But for you, they are many, and varied, and real.

Some days, you try to be that child,

When society expects you to be less wild;

And I know more than most that the struggle is real,

And to sit quietly and attentively is a huge deal.

But despite the struggle, some days you manage it,

And you feel ecstatic when you’re congratulated on being able to sit.

But most days, it’s simply too much to sustain,

And who could really blame you, when the fireworks remain.

You want to try to please all around you,

But it’s too hard – they simply don’t feel what you do.

In a society which claims to be considerate, should

The quiet behaviour be deemed what is ‘good’.

Sit still. Be quiet. Try to conform.

But to do that, you would have to transform.

And it’s hard to understand, when from the outside you seem,

Just like the others, but that’s just a dream.

When the fireworks start to shoot out of your skin,

And it’s just too painful to conceal them within,

Is it fair to say that your behaviour is bad?

And you must try harder? It makes me sad.

Rude.

Non-compliant.

Disruptive.

Won’t listen.

Does anyone stop to see what is, then?

Yellow, blue, orange and red;

Burning, fizzing,

Inside your head.

Could they do it? Would they really comply?

When the fireworks burn, how hard would they try?

I can’t climb inside your head,

But I can walk beside you, and be there, instead.

And side by side, as I hold your hand,

I can promise to try to understand

The noises, the lights, the chaos entwined,

Which ignites the fireworks in your mind.

________________

You can follow Kerry Horner’s YouTube Channel here!

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