I’m Tired of My Child’s Special Needs

I’m tired of my child’s special needs.

I’m tired of the way they impede on my life.

I’m tired of the way they impede on my family’s life.

I’m tired of the way they impede on my son’s life.

And honestly, if you were talking with him, he would say he’s pretty darn sick and tired of the way my child’s special needs impede and affect his life, too.

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I'm Tired of My Child's Special Needs - A mom's confession... Be sure to read before you judge!

I’m Tired of My Child’s Special Needs

There are just some days I wish they would all just up and disappear because I’ve had it up to HERE with managing my child’s special needs.

I want to crabby and mean and nasty and let out all of my frustrations and tell them to go stick it where the sun don’t shine!

I’m tired of keeping my cool when I really want to yell.

I’m tired of being the understanding parent when really I’m disappointed we’ve had to leave yet another outing early.

I’m tired of having to thank my other son for being so understanding when I can see he really wants to cry.

I’m tired of exchanging knowing glances with my husband, trying to say everything comforting and loving between us without having the opportunity to say what we think out loud at that moment.

I’m tired of figuring out how to manage these beasts.

I’m so sick and tired of being a responsible adult when it comes to this junk.

Some days, I just want to lie in bed and enjoy the peace and calm and pretend the rest of the world doesn’t exist around me.

And all the while I’m having these feelings, I feel terrible that I’m having these feelings at all.

But you know what… they’re just feelings.

And we all have them!


Yes… it’s the dirty secret many of us never dare to speak.

We have moments where we’re mad our kid has special needs, where we hate how it impacts our daily lives, where we hate how it completely changes our family dynamic.

(And here’s another dirty secret — your child feels the same way sometimes!)

And that’s perfectly normal!

I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t have fleeting moments (or even afternoons) where I felt like this.

The difference is, I don’t allow these feelings to take over.

I don’t allow them to poison all of the fabulous things my son is.

And I don’t ever ever ever express or direct them at my son.

The key is these feelings are often universal for special needs parents.

It’s a tough job!

And there are days that are really really really going to suck! (Did I mention really?)

And you’re going to have to continue in that moment or that day or that week.

What’s a Special Needs Mom to do with these feelings?


Don’t allow these feelings to bubble over into your life.

But don’t bury them either.

When you have a quiet moment… even if it’s taking the dog for a walk around the block, allow yourself to experience your disappointment, frustration, anger.

A friend of mine used to say to me… “You’re allowed a 10-minute pity party.”

During those 10 minutes, let your emotions wash over you. But when the 10 minutes are done, let those emotions wash away.

If you don’t address how you’re feeling, all of that anger, disappointment and frustration will bubble up in ways you won’t even see coming.

Embrace all of those nasty feelings. But then let them go….

Because you still have an awesome kid.

And because you are still an awesome mom.

xo Jenny

Read more articles about special needs parenting on Mommy Evolution!



  1. So well said. I’m not a parent of a special needs child, but we have our issues we are dealing with it. It will bring comfort to parents everywhere knowing they aren’t they only one having these thoughts. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Yes! Because pretending we aren’t thinking these things doesn’t help anyone. Rather embrace the madness and then figure it out from there 🙂

  2. CHILLS!
    Your best post ever???
    So honest, real, true, sad and realistic yet encouraging and hopeful…YESS!!!
    Thanks and love,
    Full Spectrum Mama

  3. So much truth in this! I agree that we have to acknowledge our frustrations and then find healthy outlets for them to keep it in balance. Also, I agree so much that our children are as frustrated at themselves, if not more, than we are. My son HATES when he cries. He hates how his body feels when he is dysregulated, and it has been so empowering him to discover tools to help himself keep calm. I agree with Full Spectrum Mama, one of your best yet!

    1. Hugs, Jessica! And yes, it’s hard to see that our kiddos are frustrated with themselves. It makes me want to work that much harder for them… even on the days that I don’t think I have anything more to give.

  4. I LOVE this!! It is so true!! I love your friend’s advice about having the pity party and then letting the feelings wash away!

    Great post!!!!

    1. It was one of the best pieces of advice that I use often! We were just in our 20s when she said this to me… well before kids. But boy did this help put things in perspective once we started on this journey with our kiddos.

  5. Love it! Thank you for voicing so publicly what so many of us are afraid to share aloud.

    1. It’s scary to share our inner thoughts… I get it! People are so quick to judge without even taking the time to really understand what’s going on. But I get it – and you’re not alone!

  6. Thank you for sharing your feelings. It is a brave step in a world with anonymous trolls, and because of your words countless parents feel validated and understood.

    1. Yeah… I knew there’d be trolls. But those people are the exact reason I had to let other parents know that a lot of us have these feelings… but it’s what we do with those feelings that really matter.

  7. I had tis exact moment happen to me this week. Sometimes my/our buckets fill up faster than other days. Working with children with special needs all day and then coming home to continue with those closet to your heart, can be so difficult.
    Thanks for sharing.

    1. Definitely difficult — particularly when our own bucket is empty! Keep on going, mama! You’re making a difference <3

  8. I needed this today. I cannot even put it into words without crying. So I’ll simply say thank you.

    1. Jenny — I know exactly where you are coming from. Being a special needs mom can be a toil and a joy all wrapped into one. Just know you’re not alone.

  9. I like how you can see a ray of sunshine through the challenging times. I too am a special needs mom. I hate it and love it all at the same time. Crazy but true.

  10. Yes x1000! Someone just shared this on FB and I don’t know how I missed it the first time you posted it. Maybe because I really needed to hear it after the last few days.

    1. It’s one of those things we all think but just don’t want to say out loud. It’s okay and perfectly normal to feel this… as long as we manage it well as well 🙂

  11. My son is now35and I still have those moments. Even though he is only 1-2 weeks a month it is hard. We will always deal with more than normal families and his siblings will always be affected by him it isn’t all bad. It get’s somewhat better. Being able to unburden to my husband helps, crying helps and praying helps. Remember, God gave him to you for a reason, even if we never know what it is, it does bring comfort and calm (before the storm)!

  12. Thank you!I’ve been struggling with this a lot lately.

  13. A great article, the only difference is I DO take my anger and frustration out on my child, I say ” why were you born to me?, what did I do that was so bad that I now have to deal and live with this?, then I hate myself for ever having these feelings…

  14. Sat here crying at this. Yes I get it I really do, my 15 boy just had the most shit weekend every, his girlfriend ran away and eft a suicied note, yes she save and at home now, the worst was when we was at the hospital waiting for her, he got upset could not control his temper bang the walls got hit, security and police called, I was rolling around the floor with the security when the police came, he ONLY what too see if she was okay.

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