The Big Secret to Having THE TALK about Sex
Let’s have the talk about sex.
Hmmm….your typical opener when sitting down with your child?
Maybe not.
But if you haven’t started having the talk about sex with your kiddo, as a parent perhaps it’s time.
But first, I want to thank AMAZE for partnering with me to get appropriate sex ed resources out to fellow parents like yourselves to help empower them to be the primary sexuality educators of their kids.
Be sure to check out even more of my helpful parenting tips, too!
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The Big Secret to Having THE TALK about Sex
My Dad Taught Me Where Babies Come From
When I was in elementary school, my dad sat me down and read me a wonderful book that introduced how babies are made.
Let that sink in for a moment. My DAD was the one who originally talked to me about sex.
While folks often think it’s strange that my father was the one to start the dialogue, I actually think it’s pretty cool.
Having my dad approach the subject quickly taught me that, first and foremost, it’s not taboo to talk to someone of the opposite sex about, well, sex!
Early on, my dad set me up for success in talking to my own partner about sex when I was an adult — from having sex in the first place to birth control to emotions connected with sex and everything else that goes with it.
Having The Talk about Sex
My son, who has always been curious, truly wanted to know the real way babies are made.
Having a father who was bold enough to sit me down made it so much easier to sit my own son down and begin that serious discussion.
The one thing that really struck me was how surprised he was at the information.
He had heard random things at school — and what I was telling him didn’t match up with what his buddies were telling him.
After having such a frank and open conversation, I told my son that, whatever he heard from his buddies, if he wanted the truth he should come directly to me.
The two of us talked about how, even when he’s in high school, his buddies are going to pass on a lot of bad information.
But that he would always get the honest answers from me, no matter how uncomfortable he might be asking it or how uncomfortable I might be telling it.
You see, the big SECRET to having the talk about sex with your child, tween or teen is to make sure they understand that sex isn’t a secret.
From my perspective, having knowledge is what is going to allow my son to make smarter choices.
Making decisions based on myths or misinformation (or no information at all) is just a recipe for disaster and life-alerting mistakes.
What Can We Do as Parents?
Often as parents, we think our duty (when is comes to having the talk about sex) is to only talk about contraception when our kids are teens (or maybe not talk about it at all).
But the fact is, having the big talk about sex is an ongoing discussion that starts when your kids are young.
Of course, any discussion you have is important but should also be age appropriate.
In our house, the first step toward appropriate sex talk was having my children use the proper names for their body parts.
As they reached elementary school and started asking questions about babies come from, we started with the high-level basics and have continued to expand from there.
And trust me, when my boys hit the teenage years, we are going to talk about everything … from the different kinds of contraception to their responsibility to not only their partner but also themselves.
It’s not about encouraging our kids to have sex.
Instead, it’s about educating our kids about how babies are made and how to prevent that from happening before they are old enough or ready to start a family.
When you’re ready to talk have the talk about sex with your teenager, AMAZE is a wonderful resource to get that dialogue started.
They have a catalogue of videos that inform kids and aim to spark a conversation with their parents.
Here’s one of my favorites about birth control and understanding how it can prevent babies as well as STDs…
I encourage you to follow AMAZE on Facebook and take advantage of their free resources that help you make sure your child gets the information they need from a resource they can trust — YOU!
If you haven’t heard about AMAZE before, the organization produces engaging sex education videos for kids 10-14 years old, which cover the facts as well as the more complex topics of sex, including relationships, consent and gender identity just to name a few.
The AMAZE videos provide answers young people want and need in an age-appropriate and relatable format. Fabulous!
For even more great resources to have the talk about sex with your kids, read What’s the Big Secret?: Talking about Sex with Girls and Boys.