Choosing to Laugh

My hubby sent this pic to me and it brought me to gushing, sobbing tears.

See that child sitting removed in the far corner from the other kids? That’s my Vman, who has decided to not participate in gymnastics (which he loves for the proprioceptive outlet) because the instructor has long hair that gets in the instructor’s eyes. Yep. My kid is so freaked out by the thought of having hair in his own eyes that he can’t stand seeing someone else with shaggy hair.

Sitting away from other kids and people isn’t anything new for Vman. But the photo conjured up an overwhelming feeling that no matter how hard I work and pour my soul into him, it won’t make a difference.

Now I know this isn’t true. Almost three years into OT and mirroring those efforts at home, we’ve seen big improvements in Vman. But those changes are so gradual that it can be hard to see the big picture of how much he has incorporated into his day to day life.

And so some days feel dark and hopeless. Some days I just need to cry, sob, blubber. Whatever gets me through that moment and lets me uncork the feelings I sometimes smooth over — because if I didn’t I would be an absolute wreck.

My granny used to say that we can either choose to laugh or choose to cry. So although I’m crying today, tomorrow I will be laughing and smiling at my beautiful Vman. It’s a choice. Not to hide from the truth but to embrace the good that the day has to offer.


  1. I have felt the same way about my daughter. She was the only little girl who ever got put into time out during swimming lessons. I don’t want to keep her out of things that she loves but at the same time I don’t want her to be in time out all of the time. It just breaks my heart. I just started the OT this week. We are hoping for some good results but I think it is going to be a long road. Just keep smiling 🙂

    1. Chris — you’re smart to know that things won’t change quickly. It’s a long but worthwhile process. Ten minutes after that photo was taken, Vman’s need to do gymnastics took over and he joined the group. But he needed I get over his own personal hurdles first … Which is what OT is about. It’s not about curing him but giving him the exposure and coping mechanisms to manage the sensory input so it doesn’t get in the way of him doing what he wants to do.

  2. Hi Jenny, Does Vman have visual sensory overload / issues and how do you / does the OT deal with that?

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