My son is nine and he wore what he calls fancy clothes for the holidays last year, first time no tears. He asked if he could wear reg clothes under them. He had a short sleeve shirt he liked and long athlete pants under the fancy pants. He wanted to look good, just didn’t like the way they felt on his skin. We just had to buy the suit a little bigger to fit, bonus as soon as he could he was able to take it off real quick.

We worked hard on having my son understand that the wedding was an important ritual that we needed to respect. But I also talked about the fact that I respected how hard clothing was for him and we worked on a compromise. I would approach your church about the issues as well for other dress options.

All smart tips! Glad it worked out for you 🙂

1. We talked about it a LOT. We looked at pictures of other kids dressed for a wedding (for inspiration/to set expectations) and about why you dress up (to show love/respect to the bride and groom on their big day).
2. He and I had a special day at the shops to buy his wedding clothes – we had hot chocolates and cupcakes “for shopping energy” and when we had found something we were both happy with we went and bought Lego as a reward. It wasn’t cheap, but it was effective
3. He’s an imaginative kid – the trousers we ended up buying were a sandy colour like Luke Skywalker’s Tatooine costume and he loved imagining that he was Luke Skywalker wearing them.
4. When we got home, I cut all the labels off and pre washed things to soften them up a bit.
5. I secretly packed a bag with his nicest familiar clothes so that, if we had to, he could change as soon as we’d taken photos – it was a psychological gift to myself so that, once the wine started flowing and the kids were on the dance floor, he and I could both relax for a bit if we needed to. But we didn’t! He was a champion.

All power to you, mamma, as you support your little guy through this and face up to everyone else’s expectations. I hope you’re as lucky as we were!

I would completely agree with this…. well, all except the dress rehearsal. It’s tough enough for one day. The absolute meltdowns if your child doesn’t want to wear it until the actual day isn’t worth it from my point of view.

I always regret having not planned ahead for things like this, for things where an explosion might/could have been avoided. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!

Thanks, Carolyn. We’re certainly looking at something along that route. However, I don’t think sweat shorts will fit the bill! I was thinking perhaps a white short sleeve tshirt with a collar (the kind you see at country clubs) would work for him. We’ll see!

One hopes we can continue this way — I know, we’re not as stylish as people used to be, but perhaps comfort, and a sensitivity to people’s budgets which preclude having the “right” type of clothing, will take a stronger hand. I hope that there is some leeway for you and your Vman in this situation.

Thanks. The search for clothing continues!