Well, I think you need to figure out WHY your son is doing that – is he bored. Is it interesting to see how the dog reacts, etc. Is it a good/bad way to get your attention?

For my own boys, we talked about the fact that dogs have feelings just like us. And how would we feel if someone treated us that way. We talked about how to properly pet the dog (starting with just 2 fingers to ensure being gentle.) They learned quickly that they needed to treat the dog the same way they would want us to treat them.

What would the natural consequence be for hitting or yelling at the dog? It seems obvious if he throws a toy at him then he loses the toy, but I can’t figure out a related consequence for just terrorizing the dog.

This is one of the best. books. ever. http://amzn.to/2bVcrYY Raising the spirited child really helped me also figure out how to start approaching my child and stop fighting with him but rather work with him.

Personally, I’m not a fan of “imposed” consequences. I would focus on real-world consequences depending on the issues you are facing with your daughter. Also, your daughter is at an age where she should be able to be part of the discussion about what happens when she does something wrong. And if it’s a reoccurring thing, perhaps have her help outline the consequences so she knows what to expect beforehand… that way there are no surprises and she understands what the consequences will be.

I have found that “false” consequences just don’t work and don’t have sticking power. It actually makes me cringe when I hear someone threaten to take away TV when it has nothing to do with what’s going on.

It can be hard to figure out the right consequence, but often real-world consequences are the right way to go vs. punishments.

It really is the most difficult — particularly for my husband! But we work as a team to make it happen and never present a consequence we aren’t ready to go through on.